Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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