If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
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I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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