He uses pillows to masturbate.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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