i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
