can we get nightvision for the apartment?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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