home. puking in laundry basket.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
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i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
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He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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