I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
love makes seman taste better
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
