She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
