How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
