i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
