I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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