I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize