I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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