If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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