I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You're a waste of cheezeits
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize