apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize