I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
