I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize