Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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