Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize