Can i not drive my cunt home
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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