I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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