dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
