If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize