But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
