I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
