yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Randomize
