i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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