My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
