dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I lost the right to judge tonight
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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