Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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