how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
