I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
