who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
