you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
