Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
