My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize