i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
