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I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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