I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
