I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize