i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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