please come you make the beer taste better
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
