Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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