just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
