You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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