her vagine was all disorganized.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
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its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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