I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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