My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
