Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
