I can tuck mytits in my pants
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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