Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize