Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
