dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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