I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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