OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Sober January is a disaster.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Randomize
