dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
