I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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